{"id":369,"date":"2025-03-26T22:29:01","date_gmt":"2025-03-27T04:29:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/?p=369"},"modified":"2025-03-26T22:29:02","modified_gmt":"2025-03-27T04:29:02","slug":"c3p0-juliet-by","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/2025\/03\/26\/c3p0-juliet-by\/","title":{"rendered":"C3P0 & Juliet\u00a0By: Ward Wizzordly"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

C3P0 & Juliet <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

OR<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is YOUR Droid Suffering From Romanticizations?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

CALL US NOW!!!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

YOU May Be Entitled to Compensation!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By: Ward Wizzordly<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Edited by: Jelayna Arbour<\/p>\n\n\n\n

INT. MOS EISLEY CANTINA – NIGHT<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cantina music plays. Dank, muggy atmosphere sets<\/strong> the tone and mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3P0, a droid, shuffles awkwardly from one end of the bar to a visibly intoxicated Human Woman at the other end. As she orders 4 more shots he approaches from behind attempts to pitch woo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Attempting Jedi Mind Tricks)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I beg your pardon miss, but I do believe I AM the droid you\u2019ve been looking for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET, the Human Woman, is visibly shocked and appalled by his approach. She looks him up and down, scoffs, then averts her gaze down to the ground. She begins to gravel and pout over the booze before her at the bar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a moment she snaps back into reality. She is overcome with \u201cthe audacity\u201d and begins to rudely raise her voice in retort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey JerkBot, I\u2019d LOVE it if you could scan your hard drive for your command prompt, locate GetLost.exe\u2026 and GET LOST\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J tosses back 3 of the shots in front of her with no reaction, almost completely stoic in composure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET (cont\u2019d)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psh\u2026.. LLLUUURRVVEEEE EH?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 (She spits on the ground in front of C3P0)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is LOVE anyway?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hmmmm\u2026 What IS love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Pauses to scan his database)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love. When used as a noun, love is described as an intense feeling of deep affection. A great interest and pleasure in something. When used as a verb, love is to feel a deep affection for and to like or enjoy something very much\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(beat)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do apologize for this rather shallow and unsatisfactory explanation. But it appears that I lack the required or significant information to understand this subject from a biological entity’s perspective\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s the most shallow and unsatisfying thing that anyone could have said\u2026 Are you sure that there is nothing else wrong with you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DrRoboFreud.App says \u201cMotherboard Issues Perhaps\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Juliet facepalms and tosses back the remaining shot in front of her. The once stoic reaction to the alcohol slowly fades, her face puckering more and more in response to each further shot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How many languages do you speak, C3P0?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5420… Not including morse, c++, cuneiform, just to name a few others\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All those languages, but you can\u2019t understand love\u2026 The most essential human language of them all\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(beat)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok\u2026 Let\u2019s try this another way\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(she waves down the bartender and orders another 4 shots)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell me how many languages you speak again, C3P0. This time, tell me in French.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cinq-mille-quatre-cent-vingt… Sans compter le morse, le c++, le cun\u00e9iforme, pour n\u2019en citer quelques-uns\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Juliet stares blankly at C3P0 for a moment. There is an awkward silence between the two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HUH????<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Repeating himself louder and clearer) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cinq-mille-quatre-cent-vingt… Sans compter le morse, le c++, le cun\u00e9iforme, pour n\u2019en citer quelques-uns\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Juliet stares blankly at C3P0 for another 3-4 seconds, only breaking her stare to grab a shot as the bartender places them down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorry, Droid\u2026 I don\u2019t speak French\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ERROR\u2026 This does not compute\u2026 Please elaborate on this request\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you understand romance, C3P0?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Romance\u2026 Dictionary.com defines it as an intense emotional and physical exchange between\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is soooooo much more than just quantifiable data. It’s neither logical nor rational, but it is without a doubt the strongest, if not the most fundamental, of all the forces of nature, energy, and attraction. In its purest form, love can be most easily recognized by sacrifices, selfless acts, and the purity of one\u2019s thoughts and intentions towards another being. Emotion can be thought of as the currency between human minds\u2026 Thought could therefore be seen as the currency of love\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me try to process this\u2026Love is a language all in itself and it is an entirely unique expressive experience that is both exclusive, yet paramount, to the human  experience?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You see, Droid\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(she begins to sing Bob Dylan\u2019s \u201cLove Minus Zero\/No Limit\u201d to the tune of the cantina music)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her face begins to illuminate and become more and more animated as she sings more about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET (cont\u2019d)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy love, she speaks like silence<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without ideals or violence<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She doesn\u2019t have to say shes faithful,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet she’s true like ice, like fie-urr.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People carry roses<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make promises by the hours<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My love she laughs like the flowers<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Valentines can’t buy her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The music and lyrics do not sync up and it sounds absolutely horrible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you love, C3P0?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I suppose that\u2019s rather hard to specify\u2026But I think I want exactly the same thing as every other droid\u2026 To please my master\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok\u2026 A little too much information\u2026 And, frankly, that\u2019s a bit weird\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frank-Lee? No, no, no\u2026 I am C-3-P-0! Who is this Frank-Lee? Is he your Master? Should I look to barter with him instead?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Excuse me? MASTER?<\/em>… BARTER?<\/em>… Like an item? Like an object?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, you did<\/em> emphasize the word \u201ccurrency\u201d during an early point in our interaction\u2026 I feel like I have been misled to believe there would be a transactional aspect of our encounter?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, there is so much wrong with everything you just said\u2026 Can you at least quit using those words? It just FEELS<\/em> dehumanizing\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(aggressively, without hesitation)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Did you know the actual word \u201crobot\u201d originates from the Czech word \u201crobota\u201d or \u201cforced labour\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They both roll their eyes. Even with the background of cantina music, the silence is loud and awkward between them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok this is going nowhere\u2026 Are robots even capable of feeling love? Without feeling indebted to the single person in control of their freedom?  If love requires compassion, respect, & commitment, can you really love an object that you simply buy and sell at your own accord and convenience?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3P0 switches to Silent Mode and begins to vibrate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GRRRRRR\u2026\u2026\u2026.. This is worse than arguing with a 2 year old\u2026Are you even capable of processing this, you stupid droid? Isn’t there a neurochemical process? How do you feel joy, bliss, love, compassion? How do you know true suffering? This is why Bitcasso.bot was a terrible painter and Tex.T, AKA The Artist formerly known as Prints, never quite made it as a musical artist\u2026 They never possessed the proper components to truly experience meaning through suffering\u2026 They never had the ability to convert such strong feelings of pain and suffering into authentic artistic expression\u2026 Which is, by the way, an extremely valuable and highly sought after ability these days. It\u2019s like a supernatural artform within itself\u2026 It is said to be purist in form when it occurs by chance or serendipitous accident and, in this sense, love can be a catalyst of life in the chaos of cosmic order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Precisely at this moment, CAPTAIN SPOCK beams onto the dancefloor. He performs the robot dance, causing a crowd to form around him. Juliet stays with C3P0, but Spock calls out to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SPOCK<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(loudly, while dancing)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love is so much more than just the profound range of feelings of deep emotional attachment, romantic desires towards someone\u2026There are also elements of compassion, respect, & commitment. It\u2019s the ability to embrace every single aspect of others in order to bring out the best in you. It challenges you to be the best, inspire the best, and teach the best by the  intentional practice of \u201cgood\u201d.   All the while supporting, growing, and evolving together which brings forth the most fulfilling versions of each other.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

His dancing does not quite align with the beat of the cantina music, but he\u2019s got the spirit. Juliet muses on his words, then continues explaining to C3P0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They also say that just as for every brain has its own mind, every heart has its own love\u2026.And just like how this idea may not even be computable by you\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This overlooked aspect is the rationale behind my logic, which is more than just slightly frightening for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s the perceptual abilities of AI that are not even remotely understood that worry me most\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ideas and concepts that are simply beyond my basic human perceptual understandings and comprehension of reality\u2026 This is what keeps me awake at night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Juliet gathers herself and waits for a response from the droid, unsure if he was even listening. He appears to remain in silent mode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET <\/p>\n\n\n\n

OK think of it like this; The Brain is The Hardware and the mind is the software\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 C3P0 stops vibrating and lights up at the concept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ahh, this is known as \u201cThe Software Model of the Mind\u201d which states that one\u2019s mind is essentially computational, being that it is a \u201cprogram\u201d running on the Hardware of the Brain. In comparison, A computer has its algorithm\u2026 That is, its primary program which represents the sum of the entire computational effort. It is, in essence, equivalent to the minds unique combination of neurochemical processes that allow for the possibility of emotions, behaviors, and consciousness within the human mind\u2026 All of which are principles explored and understood by the cognitive sciences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can’t uninstall anxiety\u2026. Can you???<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No\u2026 But you can give it, take it, and exchange it like words and ideas. For you see, these are all just types of currency\u2026 Some just happen to be more valuable than others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JULIET<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ahhh, good one, that leads me to my next point\u2026Emotion is basically just a socially constructed currency between human minds\u2026This is basically where the idea of human chemistry comes from. They say the meeting of 2 personalities is like the contact of 2 chemical substances. If there is any reaction, then both are transformed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spock, still dancing, once again locks eyes with Juliet. He reaches a hand out, as if to try and touch hands, but then arranges his hand into the \u201cLive Long and Prosper\u201d sign. He then speaks over the crowd once more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SPOCK <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if one were to attempt to formulate the most simple, logical and rational premise and conclusion to this entire equation, it would go as such: Love is the language of the human soul. It comprises multiple parts. It is involved in the exchanges between emotion, known as the currency of the human mind. And thought\u2026 Which is the currency of love. By way of a language which is an organized system of signs and symbols used to convey their assigned expressions.  But where does that get us??? You will never be happy if you continue to search for WHAT happiness consists of. You will never be able to really live if you are constantly in search of the meaning of life\u2026You will naturally attract the same energy that you put out into the universe\u2026Just go exist…Just go be\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just quit asking and do\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

C3P0 & Juliet  OR Is YOUR Droid Suffering From Romanticizations? CALL US NOW!!! YOU May Be Entitled to Compensation! By: Ward Wizzordly Edited by: Jelayna Arbour INT. MOS EISLEY CANTINA Continue Reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":449,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[7,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-script","category-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/449"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=369"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":370,"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369\/revisions\/370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.ulethbridge.ca\/the-write-stuff\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}